| Looking up this week from getting a reggae backing to | | | | various ad agencies would be worth so much to me |
| sound like St Ann rather than St Felicity, I spotted the | | | | now. The rule in advertising is: when you've written the |
| small dark mist in the usual corner behind the left | | | | headline, you've spent 80c of your dollar. It's got to |
| monitor speaker. I have sometimes believed absolutely | | | | hook them. It's gotta say something different about a |
| that this is my best muse, back from a pizza run to the | | | | subject you've heard a million times. Take the |
| outer starbelt. Or maybe just the golden ring around | | | | neverending subject of LOVE ( also known as |
| Uranus. Anyhoo...It seems to bring inspiration in a dark | | | | LURV...the NASTY...and BUMPING UGLIES) If I taught |
| way: more Keith Richards than Cliff Richard, and I feel | | | | songwriting, one of the first projects I would set would |
| the urge to write something that involves leather, whips | | | | have to be: write a song about LOVE, but make it |
| and a snare drum that sounds like Pavarotti hitting the | | | | interesting.Make it different. Make the listener say: I |
| water from the top board. I dig out my file called | | | | never thought of it that way before. Now Paul |
| Heavy Riffs That AC/DC Lost Under The Driver's | | | | McCartney, being famous, doesn't have to work as |
| Seat. It would help if the word MURDER appeared in | | | | hard as the rest of us. So he calls it: Another Silly Love |
| the first lyric line: that always gets the bowie knives | | | | Song. With a chorus that goes: |
| out. As Sam Goldwyn said: Start with an exploding | | | | iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou. Phew, Macca...time to open |
| volcano and build up from there to a climax. | | | | the window! |
| I can't emphasise how important the first two lines of | | | | Here's how I do it: my song is called: If You Were |
| the first verse are, in any song.This is where you the | | | | Icecream... and the first verse is: If you were icecream, |
| artist set the hook in their miniscule attention spans or | | | | I would eat you, with a very small spoon... if you were |
| not. If you simper your way into a song, as per a style I | | | | starlight, I'd go to meet you, halfway to the moon... I |
| like to call Captain Cliche, you've probably lost them | | | | think that's a lot more interesting than Paulie's but hey, |
| before the second guitar comes in. Please avoid a first | | | | he's famous, and I've just started kicking at the door. |
| verse that goes like this: ooh I love you, yes it's true, | | | | For more examples of how I approach first verses |
| what am I supposed to do, baby I know without you, all | | | | and songs in general, scoot along to my new site or |
| my dreams are down the loo...blah blah... | | | | click on the link below. |
| Anybody still awake? The only thing that might just | | | | Must get into town for some new acoustic guitar |
| save that song would be a beat strong enough to flip | | | | strings. Haven't changed them for a year, and |
| Lazarus out of the grave and over the horizon. I never | | | | No..there's no direct link between underwear rotation |
| thought that the years I spent writing ad copy for | | | | and guitar strings. And-a one...two...three... |